At times in life we think ourselves so good and we conclude we can never act in a certain kind of way or do some certain things…until we find ourselves in certain conditions or places…and we just get so shocked at our own bad actions. Have you ever been so shocked about what you did? I mean, have you ever sat down to ask yourself questions like you’re meeting yourself for the very first time, because of something “unbelievable” you did?
It’s good to be in a position that reminds us that acting right and normal, and obeying God is by grace…God’s grace. It’s a humbling place to be in, and honestly I believe we should all, once in a while, have experiences that remind us of how much of a beast we can all become if we didn’t have the Holy Spirit helping us. I’m not saying the experiences should bring us to a place where we actually get to assume and play the beastly role. I’m just saying we should get to have experiences that will force us to so so depend on the Holy Spirit. I mean, so depend on the Holy Spirit to the point that when we finally come out on the other side, we’ll really be so grateful that God came through for us. It’s a humbling experience I believe should make us learn to be patient with other people. As Christians, God’s grace and mercies help us stay away from a whole lot. Plus, we might never do some things, but before God, we have done some other things that are the same with things we might never do.
When other people act out of character and do things that really get to us in the best possible wrong way, we should out of understanding tap the negative anger that is building up, look at it right in the face and say to it, “Hello anger not today.” Saying “not today” to anger isn’t a magical trick to get rid of anger, for anger most times needs time to fade away, it rarely vanishes in a twinkle. Saying “not today” to anger is telling anger that, though it burns and eats your inner core, you will not allow it control your words and actions. It’s letting anger really know that you are in charge, and that it can’t do anything without your consent and approval. It is reminding anger how so powerful you are over it…especially as the child of God you are in Christ Jesus.
Situations that will get you angry will never stop coming your way
God can never give us a life that will be free of situations that bring negative anger our way. This doesn’t mean that God is mean-spirited; it is because, first, we’re in a fallen world. We are in a world that is filled with darkness and the fruits of darkness (Ephesians 6:12). Hence, we can’t avoid situations that will really get us angry, negatively.
Then, we’re all not the same. We have our different temperaments and other inward structures. We can’t all do things the same way. People will do things they are totally and entirely comfortable with that will affect your own personal beliefs and values, negatively. And when that happens, there’s always a tendency that you’ll be irritated…slightly or highly. And like we all know or can at less agree on, when we’re irritated, anger is most times just by the corner waiting to possess our entire being.
So, if we’re, without a doubt, always going to meet situations that will get us angry, we should learn to understand that we can’t keep allowing negative anger control us. Yes, we’ll have the feeling, but we have all it takes to subdue it and really bring it under control. And that’s exactly what we should do, and keep doing whenever we have the feeling of negative anger rising on the inside of us. So how can we do this?
Get into the place of prayer and…first, feel free to pour your heart to God
As Christians, we have the Jesus advantage. We don’t have to be alone when we go through anything in life. Let me say that again, we don’t have to be alone when we go through anything in life. We have a heavenly Father Who wants to be part of every bit and pieces of our lives. But He can’t do that if we don’t let Him…why not let Him?
If you know you always allow negative anger get the best of you, you need to go to God in prayer and just tell Him how you feel when people or environments get you angry ( 1 Thessalonians 5:17) . Then, when you’re so feeling the pressure of negative anger…take it to God, yet again. No matter your position or location. Just pour your heart out to God, silently or audibly. If you can retreat from your position, do so. If you can’t retreat, there on the spot, just tell God how angry you are. If it will sound funny praying out loud (I want to believe that it might, half of the times), talk to God, immediately, silently. Don’t wait for the anger to take roots.
Nonetheless, there are situations that are so to the extreme…and we just can’t really let go at once, and we really can’t even remember to say any prayer. Fine, but just make sure you talk to God about it, even if you’ve done or said things that aren’t right. Talk to God until you find peace and relief in the physical. Don’t nurse anger to the point where it grows into hate, bitterness, retaliation, resentment or vengeance. Just go to God and pour your heart to Him. Tell Him how you feel. Tell Him all the crazy and hurtful things you want to do or you have done already. Cry to Him, truth is He hears you. He sees you. He knows how you feel. He knows what you need. He has what you need. But, He wants you to invite Him, specifically, into that area of your life.
Then ask for Grace
Don’t just tell God how you feel; let Him know what you need. Ask for help. Ask for grace (Hebrews 4:16). Tell Him to help you let go. Invite Him to come into the situation and take absolute control. Ask the Holy Spirit to show you what to do or undo; to tell you what to say or unsay. Ask, specifically, for wisdom to get past the situation. When you ask, it’ll be given to you. When you seek, you’ll find. When you knock, the door will be open unto you (Matthew 7:7).
You might just be shocked to discover that it is you that need to change something or some things. From personal experiences; when I really talk to God about a particular person or situation that I’m angry at or with…God, most times, draws my attention to myself. He will show me what needs to get better or be changed, entirely, in my own life. That’s the good thing about talking to God. If the other person or persons are in the wrong, God knows how to soothe your pain and let you forgive easily. If you’re in the wrong, He’ll also soothe your pain as He draws your attention to what is wrong and out of place on your inside. That way, you get to change, be better…and do better.
When people get on your nerve or keep getting on your nerve…pray for them…sincerely. God brought them your way for a reason
There are people that get us angry and it’s easy to let go, because we might never get to meet them again or we may just learn to avoid them some other time. And there are others that don’t really mean to get us angry, but because of their ignorance or personality…they just get us angry. And there are yet others that we can’t run away from…and they seem to not know how to not, deliberately, press the button that makes us feel angry to the core. What do we do?
We pray for ourselves…and also remember to pray for them. We ask for grace… and we pray for grace upon their lives too. Why should we pray for them? Because most often than none, people that do things that get us angry need Jesus…even if they say they already got Him (LOL). Seriously though, we should pray for people. Tell God to give them a heart to know and understand that they can do better, and also for God to give them a heart that is willing to do better. Yes dear, the prayer you say for others, really do count and matter, if it didn’t, the Bible wouldn’t command us to remember others in prayers. So, go on, pray for them. Who knows, you might just be the one that help them get it right.
And you know another beautiful thing that pops up when you pray for others? It helps you love others. You might have heard it somewhere else, and I want to reaffirm it to you because it is true, “You can’t help but have a tender heart toward the person or persons you sincerely pray for.” (Matthew 5:44, 1 Timothy 2:1, James 5:16)
Most times, people are the way they are because they don’t believe that there’s anything wrong with them. If you, strongly, believe that there’s something wrong with someone, then you should take the person up to God in prayer. That might just be the reason why God allowed that person into your life. God is very intentional. He just doesn’t allow things happen to His Children without His approval. So, if you’re always committing your ways to God, and yet you still have that person or persons around…you have to step into your priestly role and sincerely pray for that person or persons…and truly desire to see God’s best come to past in their lives.
Grow up
Christian or not, do you know one of the signs of maturity is knowing how to get less angry and knowing how to control anger when you can’t help but get angry? Yes, what I just said is very correct. We can’t keep acting as kids that throw tantrums, whenever…wherever…towards whatever or…to whomever. It might not really sound very pleasing to our ears, but if we’re always getting angry, negatively and easily, then we really need to grow up. I know for sure that I, personally, need to grow up. I looked at myself recently and I just told myself, “Nah, Deborah you really need to grow up. You can’t keep allowing negative anger get the best of you like it does.” And it is from a place of conviction and learning better that I write this.
I pray you find time to see how and where you have to make adjustments in your own life too, and I pray we all get better…and keep getting better, and only better.
And just in case you’re feeling reluctant about growing up. If we all feel reluctant, who will be all in for Jesus?
God needs us. He can’t do anything on earth (for now) unless we (Christians) permit Him to. People that are pushing forth the frontiers of the Kingdom of God are as many as those that have decided to surrender all to Jesus. As much as God needs us to do His will upon the earth, He can’t impose anything on a heart that is not all in for Him.
So, if you’re just thinking that it doesn’t really take all of that, you’re unknowingly withholding an area or some areas of your life from Jesus. Is that really what you want? You really don’t want to be all in for Jesus? You should think about that…deeply.
Also, anger has a way of keeping us from living well and sound. We can’t feel the complete portions of peace, calm, joy, and anything positive that comes with each day when we’re angry. In this state, we can’t never get the best or give in our best. Life will keep moving, but there’ll be an obvious “disconnect”…and that’s because we aren’t in tune with our Creator.
Always remember God’s own faithfulness, loving mercies and kindness towards you
You know, the Bible didn’t just ask us to love our neighbor as we love ourselves (Mark 12:31); it also says to love others the way we are loved by God. In John 13:34 Jesus says, “I give you a new commandment that you should love one another; just as I have loved you, so you too should love one another.” (AMP). The Bible also says we should forgive like we have been forgiven (Colossians 3:13).
When that flame of negative anger starts building up on your inside towards someone or something…pause…and do try to bring to memory all you’ve done wrong, and do try to remember how you’re always finding love and mercy…God’s love and mercy…at the end of it all. God wants us to, always; do unto others as He has done for us.
Most times you have to cry real hard through it or you have to hold in the pain so hard, simple put; it won’t always be easy, at first. But we have to do it…we need to do it. We might feel foolish or even feel betrayed or even used or disrespected or ridiculed or shamed and disgraced, but we have to just learn to do it God’s way. We have to learn to understand that what the world calls “foolish” can be what God calls wisdom (1 Corinthians 1:27). We have to learn to honour God beyond what we feel and how we feel it.
And let me quickly add; your reward from God is…sure.
Here are some scriptures (according to the Amplified version of the Bible) that reveal God’s heart to us;
Don’t just read them…meditate on them…let them come alive in your world.
“A self-confident fool utters all his anger, but a wise man keeps it back and stills it.” Proverbs 29:11
“He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his own spirit than he who takes a city.” Proverbs 16:32
“He who has no rule over his own spirit is like a city that is broken down and without wall.” Proverbs 25:28
“A hot-tempered man stirs up strife, but he who is slow to anger appeases contention.” Proverbs 16:18
“A fool’s wrath is quickly and easily known; but a prudent man ignores insults.” Proverbs 12:16
“Cease from anger and forsake wrath…” Psalms 37:8
“Do not be quick in spirit to be angry and vexed, for anger and vexation lodge in the bosom of fools.” Ecclesiastes 7:9
“Do not let yourself to be overcome by evil, but overcome evil…with good.” Romans 12:21
“…Let every man be quick to hear, (a ready listener) slow to speak. And slow to take offense and to get angry. For man’s anger does not promote the righteousness God [wishes and requires]” James 1:20
Begin Again…
If you’re reading all of this and you’re feeling guilt…maybe, you’re remembering something or things you said or did. Maybe, you’re just wishing that you really didn’t get angry with someone or over an issue, and you’re just wishing you can turn back the hand of time and do better or say better. I want you to know, that God sees you, and He sees your heart. He can redeem your past. You can’t change your past, but God has a way of taking your past and present and make His best out of it, if you let Him. I encourage you to let God help you, no one else, nothing else can do better than Him.
No matter how recent your past is…begin again.
My prayer for you:
I pray for you, as I pray for myself. I pray you learn to understand that anger is an emotion God created and that it has its proper use. I pray you learn to channel your anger towards the right things, in the right way. I pray you learn to always look at negative anger in the face and say, “Hello anger, not today.”
I pray you learn to honour Jesus above all and every. I pray you watch your own life change for the better…and better…and better…and always better, until we all meet Jesus in heaven.
Amen.
Get in the gym, and do
Stay Spiritually Fit.